The Human Condition
by WritinginEarnest
Summary: In a universe with hills and valleys Ichigo finds himself in the awake of the flattest valley he's ever been in; the ultimate sacrifice after the winter war, losing his powers and losing the ones he has come to know. can he ascend up the hill or will he remain on flat land? Ichiruki, T(for now), Constructive feedback only and read all the way through, I will be updating. thanks :)
1. Prologue

(The Human Condition) Prologue (Ichi-Ruki)

_Thump, Thump, Thump_. A cool breezy night lay ahead for 17 year old Ichigo Kurosaki. His heart beating in his ears his mind voiced itself, echoing through his head _no sleep, again?  
What am I missing?_ He wondered. He lay in his sheets through solemn movement began to sit up as his eyes shifted across his empty room.

His mind became verbal a thought only being spoken to itself, he spoke out loud to himself his face being lit by the window to his right as he could see the town of Karakura as it slept.

"Another night to focus all my attention on nothing damn it." He sighed ruefully with a scowl.  
If eyes could kill someone ought to be dead now. Speaking of which someone downstairs piped up Ichigo picking up on who it was, Isshin.  
"Is my wonderful son awake again hoping for a fair maiden in the dead of night or a white knight to whisk him away on his horse and eventually in a private chamber on hi—" Isshin's exclamatory sentence was cut off as a loud thud was heard downstairs.  
In the guise of the darkness the bright haired teenager smirked remembering exactly what he had forgotten, thinking to himself _my midget._

Hope you liked it give it a review.


	2. With Loss Comes Grief

(The Human Condition) C: 1 With Loss Comes Grief (Ichiruki)

This is what he was used to waking up to, knowing that it wasn't real; not real anymore, not for him.  
Yesterday's thoughts and perverted interruption had been due to one of his sisters.  
Pint sized violet eyed Rukia, his raven haired otherworldly girl had gone.  
She was gone out of his life just as he come to know her for who she was.  
Everyone he knew from Sereitei had disappeared of his radar once the exchange was made.  
Ichigo lost his powers in a face off that tested the will of him and every ally he had.  
_ You said if I hadn't feared, if I could protect, If I cut I would kill I'd be powerful enough to save them all, I don't even have that power anymore how can I protect them?  
I need an answer why is it I lost everything in vain?_ His thought trailed off Ichigo was confused as a puzzle. The trouble with pieces of a puzzle or well more along the lines of pieces of a person is that you can't be truly whole and the puzzle cannot be whole until you find that piece.  
Worse if that pieces gets destroyed. He was burned out and shaken up by the aftershock of the winter war, it had taken its toll.  
Everything hurt in one way or the other, his grades hadn't been effected however underneath; underlying and undercutting all of this was a frightened and torn teenager, a casing of the warrior Ichigo "The Substitute Shinigami" had been.  
_Back at square one._  
A plane in a wreckage before takeoff. _Where am I? Oh lunch_ he voiced to himself, he looked up amongst the crowd on the rooftop.

Groups of social bodies and the one he had been surrounded by was silent. Chad breaking through Ichigo's thoughts spoke up" I know the shift had been hard for you but it's not only you it's effected all of us" Chad motioned towards the others before continuing the thought " we don't have the luxury or the time to always be there to pick up the pieces of you."

Ichigo flinched his head back glancing around at them, taken back at Chad not because what he said wasn't true.  
It's just he hadn't said much through combat and even at school. A voice ringing more transparent started to begin to form, this was not Chads.

Uryu repeated once more, "Are you listening to me Kurosaki? Ichigo nodded half-heartedly content that he would what repeat what he didn't hear. 

He looked at Ichigo narrowing his eyes before going on "as I was saying Chad's right you got to get back to us. What you did was the ultimate sacrifice and you saved everyone, shouldn't you let it be at the moment?" Uryu triggered a look from everyone centered at Ichigo.  
Finally issuing his response instead of being talked to indirectly he started," I can't sleep. I lost my powers and I'm barely hanging by the thread because every day I can't help my friends let alone be able to see the others I have made. I had a purpose with those powers."

With those words released he felt he had enough. Ichigo rose up, running past the stares and familiar voices shouting after him he ran to the only place he knew could keep him calm; He ran along the grass down to the riverbank after a long trek in to town. _Hi mom_.

His thought resoundingly weak as on one knee he played off a smile and laugh his emotions overtaking him then had eventually, him laying on the ground giving up, sobbing into the pavement the pent up anguish running rampant.

Thank you for those who reviewed and this is the first chapter. :)

Conclusion,

The. Wholock

manga matchmaker


	3. Take hold of the blade

**The Human Condition Chapter 3**

The orange hair ex-sub lay his head down his eyes singed, his throat dry and his well dried up. For the moment his thoughts settled. Gazing forward from his arms he looked up and over the body of water, scanning himself in the reflection however in an instant it wasn't him he scanned himself dressed in his old uniform, underneath a white shitagi with a black kosode and hakama his zanpakutou on his back and Ichigo's iconic smile plastered on his face. He reached out for the image however before his hand reached the surface he was pulled in. _What the hell? _ The water he found himself submerged in turned black then to white as a cascade of shadows started to envelope and mirror him, suddenly it froze over. _What is this? _ Ichigo's thoughts echoed around him as his head was spinning in confusion. Then only one voice could be heard as his body began to get covered up with ice. ,"You are only going to be here for as long as I can get my message across ne?" White hair flowed and Ichigo looked at the spirit with a mixture of confusion, sadness, and surrender." Am I dead"? Ichigo deadpanned. "If I chose to, I could have you as such, but both of us know my wielder would not like that" she responded with a smirk. The zanpakutou looked at him calmly. "Wait a second. We're- he began. "Yes Ichigo look around this is Kuchiki-sama's doing; she's been very distraught". "You're sode no shirayuki but how are we here then"? He began to feel the melt of the ice as he saw the spirit form her response.

_No formalities? I see, this is him_ Sode no Shirayuki thought to herself before reciprocating, "Just as suspected, you wouldn't remember however that night I was there as your blade before Zangetsu." His eyes looked around and narrowed zeroing in on the zanpakutou realization dawning upon him like an inescapable attack from his dad every morning. ,"You see it now, that temporary time has lead me to bringing you here, in to the first inner world you've found sanctuary in time and time again and more times to come without realizing it." Ichigo looked at her taking it all in. "What does that mean then"? He called out. She looked at him for a second noticing all the details of him, his hair disheveled, his eyes baggy, and his eyes a bit red. _This boy's been experiencing sorrow for some time now, I must give him some encouragement_ she thought. ," You've been needed for a long time Ichigo, even though you've stayed back and watched from afar up until now. You will always be needed and now more than ever, by Rukia. You can't tell but Kuchiki-sama is in needed. Shirayuki paused grimacing for an instance and then continuing, so I'll send you back to where you manifested your powers. You must claim them once again, are you ready? Ichigo nodded a dim fire growing in his eyes," Yes'! ,"Alright then". The spirit looked at him melting the ice below him. "Hajime" Shirayuki said. There was a blast of cold and a flash of light, "Hello Ichigo" a gruff voice said. _Zangetsu?_

Ichigo's eyes flickered between his zanpakutou and his silent yet sleeping hollow. "Yes Ichigo have you forgotten me so quickly"? Zangetsu asked in jest; raising his blade showing Ichigo its current state. ," Why did you seal it"? He asked. "That wasn't my choice to make Ichigo the fault falls upon you and me. You losing the connection has made me dull and less ferocious per say, without your constant spiritual pressure welled up within my soul I reverted back to normal state thus unbinding me from him." Zangetsu motioned to the spitting however contrasted image of Ichigo's spirit. He appeared to be floating alongside the inverse zanpakutou. ," So what do I do old man"? Zangetsu pursed his lips pausing for a moment. ," Well what we must do, what is needed to happen in order to be whole once more, is first you must awaken him." His black cloaked zanpakutou said. ," Me really? We never are on the best of terms when I'm here." He replied. "That was before Ichigo, remember the last time"? (_Flashback):_" I want to protect you". Hichizan shook saying this as he looked up at Ichigo, surprise writing in his eyes seeing the former crying for the first time. ," You can" Ichigo said solemnly as his fused spiritual inhabitants white blade tensa zangetsu protruded through his chest. ," You understand with this form, me and goat face won't see ya again right king?" Ichigo nodded looking down with reassurance. So be it, guess there is no horse, for now". Hichizan finished with a cackle. Smiling he poured his reiatsu through the hilt to the guard and blade. What followed soon afterward was swirl of blue and white and black heating and evaporating the water of his inner world. (_End of flash back)_," it's time Ichigo, now or never grab the ribbon and you shall find me again" Zangetsu called out.

Ichigo closed his eyes _just as before, hat n' clogs, midget, everyone is counting on me, okay white ribbons, everywhere. Hmm. _he thought. "Gotcha" he exclaimed as a crimson rope passed. Reaching out Ichigo grabbed a hold of the ribbon, tugging on it he heard his voice, his memories. " Zangetsu my blades name is Zangetsu "Ichigo shouted." Crescent moon Cutter"? Byakuya questioned. , "Quite a pretentious name". "Getsuga Tenshou!" "You fool! I left you in the world of the living to die, a peaceful death and now you're here, how are you going to escape now"? Rukia questioned" I'm here to save you whether you like it or not". Ichigo looked down at Rukia as the fire from the sokyoku shown through brightly as they are suspended in air, the massive zanpakutou in all rites being destroyed." Byakuya Kuchiki I'm going to kick your ass. Ichigo Proclaimed. ,"This is my mom's grave, when I was a kid she died along this riverbank" Ichigo said softly sweat beading down his eyes standing up. They looked at each other the golden sun and the white moon as Ichigos black hair began to fade and he returned back to his original form. ," I guess this is goodbye, Rukia" he looked deep into her eyes as she began to fade away from his sight as his spiritual pressure had exhausted fully by Mugetsu. These memories and instances resounding all around him finally a piercing roar from his blade Zangetsu," You want to protect? I will shelter those you care about. You wish to be strong? I will cut down those who hinder your path. I will not die as you live! This promise you and I make when you wield me again, are you ready for such a task?" Zangetsu questioned lastly his statement definitive.

Ichigo grinned his biggest," Hell yeah". Zangetsu roared once more," You know what you must. Go forth Ichigo"! Ichigo gripped the hilt pulling it out its black box. "Time to protect" Ichigo said looking up as he was surrounded by a watery world once again back in his clothes.


	4. He who protects

**The Human Condition Chapter 4**

(_Authors note: Procrastination and school are both a pain, sorry for the delay, had no time to type, found some time however and thank you for those who are following me, I'm going to go into overdrive, have material for the next chapters at the ready.)r and r Ichiruki as always and review. _

The old man glanced along the stream, looking up he spotted a yellow fluff, noticing it was a duck floating by he reached into his pockets asking," You hungry little one?" The duck looked up at him with dull uncaring eyes however upon spotting the slice of bread you could see a sparkle there that came alive so fast. The old man smiled edging over to the bird afloat. ,"You really want it? We could be friends" were his last words to the little puff before a grim bead of sweat rolled down the duck's beady eyes, disappearing from its spot replaced with a blast of hydrogen the duck flying high above. As the flow stopped the old man looked down," Was that you? Ah well I said would, even though you gave me quite the scare little one". The old man squinted his eyes, chuckling and smiled as the flightless bird took to his offering.

After a fight of oxygen and swimming back up to the surface Ichigo could feel himself rocketing up as his reiatsu spiked his elated thoughts at the forefront of his mind screaming for all to hear. Watching as the water flew above his head. His immersion back out of the water and out into the sun relieving as the sun burned orange reflected off his hair _I'm finally able to breathe again. Wait. _Ichigo thought as he saw an old man. _Must have scared him, I have no time. Damn. I have to get out of my body. _Ichigo bounded out of the water running as fast he could to a certain blonde haired ex captains shop. ," Hat n' clogs, Yoruichi, somebody" he called out. Waiting out in front of the sliding doors he heard a voice materialize behind him," My my, what have we got here? It appears I was right when we felt that familiar pressure in the air Yoru-chan, our Ichigo's got his powers back" Kisuke said as smiled behind his fan. "So it seems, and he's matured to my liking I might say, what with his white shirt, I can see all I want to, well maybe all. There's one thing hidden down below his shirt" Yoruichi purred. Tracing her golden eyes over him. Ichigo blushed crimson red. Ignoring her statement he looked over at the pair," I need to get out of my body, I lost my badge, and well now I need your help again to get back to Rukia. She's in trouble and now I can finally do something about it. Will you help me"? He asked.

Kisuke looked up, over at Yoruichi, and then back at Ichigo." Yare, Yare, what use would I have If I couldn't help my best customer? Ms. Kuchiki of all people too, plus a ferocious black beast would tear me apart if her merchandise was sad again." In response to his words the master of flash looked at Ichigo teasingly flicking her tongue. Boy did he want to hide, behind something, anything. "So, back on the path once lost," The orange haired daiko looked over at Kisuke as the man's voice became serious now. Continuing Kisuke began once again "Good because you looked like hell. And incessant whining at this time is not needed. Time for you to get going my young sidekick" Kisuke finished as he smiled returning back to his happy go lucky self again. "How do I do that"? Ichigo questioned the man but before there was a response all Ichigo could see was a flash of white black and green as Kisuke's foot connected with his jaw, the orange haired sub flying out of his body onto air," Damn it hat n' clogs! Warn me next time" Ichigo yelled," You can thank me later, for now, go save the princess." Ichigos scowl was replaced with a blush as he nodded and was gone in an instant.

The wind calming a bit down Kisuke Urahara looked over at Yoruichi "Those two will be perfect for each other. Am I right?" he said as he took off his hat. Yoruichi bumped the former and nodded licking his cheek," Yes they will but only if they figure it out, Ichigo can be so dense sometimes, and Rukia can be even worse. Modest girl with such a doting brother and a noble house. She has had no experience apart from entering the academy with building herself out of the shadow cast upon her" The tan skinned woman finished with a sigh, gaining a hand gesture from Kisuke headed in the direction of their humble abode. "Come on let's go in, I think it's time for your milk" He said. "Oh, is that a matter of fact? Huh. Alright but just know I won't be nearly as forgiving as Ichigo's Rukia when dealing out punishment" she looked at him purring. ," Well for you, I think I'll be a masochist." Kisuke replied, garnering a laugh from Yoruichi, pursing her lips in a smile she kissed him on the cheek as they went inside. Ichigo raced through the town sensing Rukia's flickering reiatsu as it was slowly being drowned out by another however unknown. _Come on come on come on _Ichigo's face was stone grim as his clothing fluttered in the wind, running from rooftop to rooftop.

,"Rukia was it? The pink haired lady started as she held her gaze at the raven haired Shinigami holding herself up with her white katana. She continued "if that is it, I must say you're weaker than I expected. I suppose now that I'm about to kill you I might as well tell you what my dirk does, it'd be pointless for you to try to avoid it anyway, it's a tad bit flawless I might say. See here shinigami when an object spiritual or otherwise is exposed to my blades edge, it stops the molecules from being solid and motionless." She paused for a moment then continued, "Making them expand with space and speed to race from being solid to liquid to gas and finally my favorite plasma. Your blade so far as I can tell does the reverse. However my blade has twice the amount you can freeze, and that is why you'll always loose up against me." Her voice sharp with finality" Time for you part with this world, my name by the way which you cared not to learn is Hito Shika goodbye shinigami."

The motion of her blade and her sentence had been cut off by a sudden spike of black reiatsu flashing in front of the space between her and her prey. Hito Shika could only grunt as she was kicked 50 ft away from the pair of shinigami," Sorry for the inconvenience, but I must end this now" Ichigo said. The pink haired vasto lorde titled her head looking at the black and crimson dressed man; She looked at him and saw him disappear having her dirk at the ready. On edge she saw multiple of him flickering around her making her dizzy. _So if her weapon hits me I'm don for. Time to get serious then. _Ichigo started to form a pattern swaying in and out of her blades range, he would see her attempt to flail around and then stay still, frantically searching for contact on him. There was none, the orange haired shinigami began to cut into her, cutting her down piece by piece, until she crumbled and fell to the ground.

Hito shika looked up at the two as she dropped her weapon to the side overwhelmed with pain. ," I see, no name for me, I suppose" her hoarse voice called out. Blood ran along her lips onto her pure white clothing as she laughed a bit before coughing up blood along the floor. Ichigo looked over at her weak form," My name is Zangetsu, my wielder is not here at the current moment, seeing as you attacked Kuchiki-sama it was detrimental for me to kill you. If I may ask what is your name hollow?" she looked at him into his eyes. ," Hito shika" she weakly said." Heat seeker? It appears you burned yourself out, Ms. Kuchiki is important to him, to it is unfortunate for our paths to cross and yours to have met its end. It is not as bad along as what my wielder, Ichigo would have inflicted upon you for such the slight. Farewell." With that the flash of crimson reappeared once more and quickly disappeared as both Rukia and the dark cloaked shinigami left Hito Shikas view. She was burned out alright she looked at the spot where they had just left and turned her attention to the sky in her last fleeting moments. _He who protects? Better name than I, he carried it out well. _Those were her final words resounding in her head as she reached deaths door her eyes once filled with life accompanied by a dull and void stare into oblivion.


	5. No horse

Chapter 5

( Ichiruki as always, don't sue me tire kubo xD r and ya enjoy )

" No coup d' tat this time around king, just you and me. Old goat out there is taking care of everything in your stead. We got time to kill, and killing to time if you're as weak as the memories he showed me when you lost us" Shiro finished. Ichigo looked into the formers yellow irises, glancing back at the sky as they stood above or strangely below the sky of the inner white haired hollow spun the white edged blade holding it by its black wraps held to the hilt and guard. ," First you must defeat me in battle" Ichigo narrowed his eyes in suspicion.  
"No catch king, only rules and conditions. For starters you will fight me within the boundaries of Judo and in Karate." Ichigo scoffed chuckling granting a sigh from his other half. "It isn't as easy as you believe, trust me you're classes haven't been as hard as I'm going to let on. You and I will not have the aid of Zangetsu and I will not either. I will be at full force with ressureccion and bankai. You must remain at normal bankai. Come." Shiro said; "Bankai" said Ichigo called out looking at his yellow eyes the shinigami took his stance and readying his arms as he was engulfed in black energy dissipating.," Nice, let's see if you're still king or now my horse."Shiro looked at Ichigo with burning black eyes behind his mask as he twiddled the blade between his fingers. ," Oh yeah? I'm going to kick the living hell out of you. Once we're done I'll show you I've been king all along."

Shiro yawned. ," Tread carefully, if you can't beat me I'll kill you and take this body,let's get this done with". The white haired form was gone in an instant as he stopped twiddling the blade throwing it directly across the building to him. The pair were caught in a clinch as both tried to gain the upper hand. Ichigo threw his fist at Shiro, seeing the fist his polar opposite blocked it altogether but clenched his teeth in pain as Ichigos leg connected with his side sending him into the air. The orange haired daiko chancing his next move went in for 3 leveled kick gaining a response from the formers fist to his chest. Ichigo let it hit through a tense torso grabbing his wrist and throwing it behind him, Shiro felt the pull of his arm as it was nearly disconnected backwards flipping over Ichigos hold and pulling him into a knee kicking him away. The pair blood covered to a certain extent started laughing together.

_Meanwhile _

Zangetsu bounded over buildings running from rooftop to rooftop _I must get her medical help, perhaps Inoue-san can be of help_ Zangetsu reached out for the feel of the healers reiatsu _there you are,please, be of help. For both of their sakes. _Ichigo looked at the structure, "Certainly not traditional, she must be through this. Hello Inoue-san"? Ichigo said outloud to the apartments. "Gaining no response from anyone in particular the zanpakutou disguised as his wielder sighed continuing his thought. " It seems I must come up there then." Ichigo flew up to the top of the stairs and walked silently looking at the door. He glared at it. He detested it. standing there for two seconds before waving his blade slicing downward, carrying a blast of blue spiritual pressure through it. ,'What the, Ichigo"? Orihime sputtered,"What are you here for?" _Was that a bit harsh? Please stay_ the bubbly girl thought. ,"Sorry no time, heal Rukia, now. She is in a critical state.

Ichigo said looking at her with a cold eyes. ,"Rukia? Of course I can. Lay her carefully on the bed." _Why isn't it ever me? Why does he need me for what she needs? I understand right now but the way he is holding her,I don't know. _Waving her hands over her petite friend she called out,"Santen kesshun, I reject." Ichigo looked in amazement as the fairies flew around and performed very vastly,healing the raven haired shinigami. ," Thank you Inoue-san, when should I come back to get her"? Ichigo asked looking inquisitive. Orihime looked at the bed and back to him. "One hour at most okay? If you need anything, tell me" Orihime cooed. ," Sure" Ichigo responded and turned away from her fastly. _She loves Ichigo too. Too bad he doesn't love her back in tha_t way. _For the best these two young birds stay together._ Ichigo smiled. Looking at the sun set he spoke outloud. "Wish I had my glasses,wonder what they are doing." Ichigo continued to look on as he stood on the apartment's balcony.

A shockwave was heard as bangs of loud blasts were heard echoing through the inner world as Shirosakis cero blast grazed the shinigami on the shoulder, Ichigo closing the distance. Shiro swung the katana by its chain in response Ichigo threw himself back as the blade passed his face, getting hit with the guard he was knocked back as a white wave of reiatsu was sent to him; Ichigo closed his eyes and steadied his spiritual pressure stepping down on the building. He hit the center of it and passed through that center bloodied. ,"What does she mean to you exactly"? Shirosaki asked.

Their pair of eyes held a burning stare at each other," I mean you aren't even trying. If I can catch you with that king you aren't ready right? Sad little bastard going to weep, come the hell on I mean you got her back from those shinigami and here you lost her again." Ichigo clenched his fists yelling out swinging ferociously,kicks, punches and a flurry of cuts getting dodged melding and mixing with the blows the two were dealing out to the other. ," That's it. Instinct. Pretty damn easy, you just got to love the anger, and control it. Shirosaki jumped at the wall reverse spin kicking Ichigo connecting with with his head,impact felt the sub followed through hitting his leg away punching the hollow square in the chest. Smiling in pain they both motioned swinging their arms, colliding with echothers cheeks both flying in opposite directions.

Ichigo stopped mid-flight controlling the reiatsu beneath his feet _Instinct _he thought. He saw a glint of white _not this time._ He held his blade out to the side gripping the guard tightly. He caught the glimpse of his hollow sliding underneath,mentally taking note to thank him later. He swiftly reacted however in this moment grabbing Shirosaki by the face flying and ran him through buildings. A cackle could be heard by both as their voices synchronized. ," You're getting it now,there ever was a king or horse. Just two sides of a coin really." Ichigo nodded as they both came to halt. ," So like the old man,can you accept me'? Shiro questioned. Ichigo looked up at the skies as they were becoming more clear. "If you accept me then yeah" Ichigo said with a smile as he put out his hand, the pair both shook. ,"Alright enough with the sappy bullcrap time for you to take the reins again. I will be here with the old man.

Orihime looked at the window as Rukia lay in bed, going through the open space where the door used to be. _If only he was- _Orihime's train of thought was broken by a light tap on the broken doorway.," Ichigo, you're back." He smiled at her scatting his head. ,"Yeah something like that. How is Rukia"? " She'll be stable,someone needs to take care of her however while she makes full recovery. My house is available." She beamed. ," I'll do it Orihime,,you've done enough".Ichigo patted her on the shoulder heading inside her house. "What happened here anyhow"? Oeihime pursed her lips pain flashing across her face. Her face instantly went back to normal. ,"Alright take her and be very careful Ichigo she'll need plenty of rest."He odder picking her up as he felt no weight at all disappearing in a flash. _Time I protect again. Caretake more like._ ,"Little midget. My whoa what am I saying? Jeez pull yourself together, she would never. I mean I would like her to. " He spoke aloud to himself as he lay her in the bed awaiting for her to wake pulling his chair up net to her bedside.


End file.
